Currently listening to Superchick's "Beauty from Pain" Album
I'm having a rather rough time spiritually right now. I know this blog is supposed to be happy stories of silly things my students say and do, and while I definitely have plenty of those, this is kind of where my focus has been for the last week or so.
I've seen a kind of spiritual breakdown heading towards me in my peripheral vision, but I've been so busy and school has taken so much of my time that I think I thought if I ignored it, then it wouldn't happen. I've talked to some people in the past about the lack of support post-graduation, but nothing really prepared me for what I am experiencing. I haven't prayed with a friend or roommate for almost six months.
Six months. Without spiritual community.
The cracks that started when I left Jersey have deepened, and I feel like I've been cut adrift. I haven't talked to anyone here who is serious about faith, or who wants a personal relationship with God. My roommates are wonderful, don't get me wrong, but they're just not spiritually supportive.
These days I am struggling to pray, struggling to care, slipping into old bad habits. New bad habits are coming in as part of the spiritual loneliness.
Superchick says it better than I can:
I need you to know,
I'm not through the night,
Some days I struggle just to walk towards the light.
I'm sorry to be downer. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
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3 comments:
i'm praying for you!!!! i'm sure that there is someone out there who can be spiritually supportive. maybe you just haven't found them yet. cause i don't think God wants anyone to be alone or feel alone, so someone will come along. also, i know i am far but i am just a phone call away!!! not that i am at all at the same place spiritually as you are but sometimes it just helps to talk about holy stuff to someone.
LOve you tons and tons!!!
miss you! can't wait until december 21!!!
Elizabeth
just saw this thing on EWTN (too much quiet in my house during the day ) about Elizabeth of the Trinity (not sure if she's a saint)...who experienced a dark time spiritually after rejoicing in her vocation. She spoke of knowing above all, we are loved. That God loves us beyond all telling--of course not said like that, but it was so inspiring, the idea of Being Loved...which also comes up right at the beginning of Spe Salvi (I've only read the beginning!)...the idea that God loves us and is waiting for us. We are loved and awaited.
Not sure why I'm even saying this, but know you are loved. And especially by Miss Tangly here, you are Very Much Awaited!
hang in there...
the rest of the song says it...keep hoping...
peace,
k
hey.
In same song:
I need you to know,
that we'll be ok,
together we can make it through another day.. .
you should know, you're not on your own, these secrets are walls that keep us alone. I don't know when, but i know now, together we'll make it through somehow.
keep hanging in there. Its really hard to not have a spiritual support system. but its even harder to tell someone sometimes. so its good that you are saying it. I know I am probably the worst person to talk to about spiritual stuff, but if you ever just feel alone and need someone to talk to, you can call me. I love you tons and can't wait to see you.
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