Warning: spontaneous creativity ahead...
She looked like a fashion plate, standing outside on the sidewalk the day we met. I think it was the shoes that I noticed first, because they made absolutely no sense for a Washington winter. I was bundled in as many layers as I could manage, from sweaters and scarves, to boots and a hand-knit, slightly lopsided wool hat. Her shoes were tall and pointy and lime green, a startling contrast to the cold and the grey of the morning. They were definitely not the type of shoes one could wear with socks.
I debated going over to her, asking who she was and what had brought her to our little corner of the world, but I stood frozen to the sidewalk, literally and figuratively. She checked the scrap of paper in her hand, scanned the street, presumably for street numbers, then turned and walked purposefully down the opposite side of the street, past the library.
It was a split second choice, but I suddenly knew that it was incredibly important for me to go to the library at that very moment, and with all possible speed. Ironically, this decision made it necessary for me to follow the same path as the mystery girl. Before I knew it, we both stood at the library door, which I gallantly opened for her. "After you, miss."
Not really sure where this is going...just a picture in my mind.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Taking this in a new direction
So I realized that sometimes this blog may sound a little whiny, and I want to change that starting from this moment forward. I'm not the only person who's ever moved to a new place and had a hard time adjusting, so instead I want to focus on the adventures of this place I find myself calling home.
For example, right now I am sitting in a really cute little independently owned coffee shop in southeast Portland. There are so many lovely places to sit and drink a cup of coffee in this city. This one is attached to an offshoot of Powells, which is the world's most amazing bookstore. If you are ever in Portland, Powells is a must-see. I had a moment in a coffee shop this morning as well, where I was able to sit by a window and watch the world go by while scribbling down a few lines of poorly written poetry. It made me realize that I really like to sit in coffee shops and read and write. This also made it occur to me that there is no reason not to do this when in Yakima. The one cute coffee shop in town is within walking distance of my new home, so maybe once a week it would be good for me to get out of the house and go sit there for a while to do just that.
I also reread Regina Doman's The Shadow of the Bear this weekend and it rekindled in me a desire to write something of value. This summer was an interesting time for me as I took a long look at what had become of my faith during the first year of PACE. I realized that I value the Catholic identity of my personal faith, and now I need to see what that means for my life as a teacher and hopefully someday as a writer. I love the idea of rewriting fairy tales, but I also love the idea of infusing my writing with my own Catholic identity, slthough unlike Regina, I think that I want to keep these two goals separate and maybe write two totally different kinds of books. We shall see where these musings take me. My poetry about women in the Bible is slowly but surely coming along. If anyone wants to give me feedback, it would be greatly appreciated. (hint hint, I need someone to read for me :)
On that note, I think I'll sign off for the night and start writing something creative.
For example, right now I am sitting in a really cute little independently owned coffee shop in southeast Portland. There are so many lovely places to sit and drink a cup of coffee in this city. This one is attached to an offshoot of Powells, which is the world's most amazing bookstore. If you are ever in Portland, Powells is a must-see. I had a moment in a coffee shop this morning as well, where I was able to sit by a window and watch the world go by while scribbling down a few lines of poorly written poetry. It made me realize that I really like to sit in coffee shops and read and write. This also made it occur to me that there is no reason not to do this when in Yakima. The one cute coffee shop in town is within walking distance of my new home, so maybe once a week it would be good for me to get out of the house and go sit there for a while to do just that.
I also reread Regina Doman's The Shadow of the Bear this weekend and it rekindled in me a desire to write something of value. This summer was an interesting time for me as I took a long look at what had become of my faith during the first year of PACE. I realized that I value the Catholic identity of my personal faith, and now I need to see what that means for my life as a teacher and hopefully someday as a writer. I love the idea of rewriting fairy tales, but I also love the idea of infusing my writing with my own Catholic identity, slthough unlike Regina, I think that I want to keep these two goals separate and maybe write two totally different kinds of books. We shall see where these musings take me. My poetry about women in the Bible is slowly but surely coming along. If anyone wants to give me feedback, it would be greatly appreciated. (hint hint, I need someone to read for me :)
On that note, I think I'll sign off for the night and start writing something creative.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
An eventful week
So Glacier National Park was every bit as beautiful as I had imagined, and Montana is still my dream location for starting my cherry farm. Perhaps it is even more ideal to me now that I've been there and seen how absolutely amazing it is. I am currently in the process of uploading pictures to facebook so you can all appreciate the watered-down version of the experience that even gorgeous photos can give you. If you can't tell, I kind of fell in love with Glacier.
It rained most of the time we were there, so I was wet and cold pretty much all the time, except for when we were hiking. But it was totally worth it, and I learned all about camping. I can now start a fire, cook all sorts of yummy things in it, and make friends at a campsite.
In other news, I went to the eye doctor today because I've been having trouble reading the road signs while driving. They upped my prescription, which I expected, but then they gave me some very different news. Apparently I have a hole in the retina of my left eye and "retinal thinning". While I don't know yet how serious this is, I do know that I have to see a specialist and also go back to the regular guy in 6 months. This is causing me rather a great amount of stress. My mom ended our conversation about the issue with a very cheerful "well, you only get one set of eyes." This does not make me feel good.
So, if you have a moment and think of me, send some prayers for my eyes this way. I don't think my cool new purple glasses are going to do it for me on this one.
It rained most of the time we were there, so I was wet and cold pretty much all the time, except for when we were hiking. But it was totally worth it, and I learned all about camping. I can now start a fire, cook all sorts of yummy things in it, and make friends at a campsite.
In other news, I went to the eye doctor today because I've been having trouble reading the road signs while driving. They upped my prescription, which I expected, but then they gave me some very different news. Apparently I have a hole in the retina of my left eye and "retinal thinning". While I don't know yet how serious this is, I do know that I have to see a specialist and also go back to the regular guy in 6 months. This is causing me rather a great amount of stress. My mom ended our conversation about the issue with a very cheerful "well, you only get one set of eyes." This does not make me feel good.
So, if you have a moment and think of me, send some prayers for my eyes this way. I don't think my cool new purple glasses are going to do it for me on this one.
Friday, August 7, 2009
A Poem
"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you? She replied, "No one, sir." John 8:10-11
Why is he writing in the dirt?
They brought me here, dragging me
through the dust and the filth of the
street, flinging me down, making me
know shame.
They are yelling at him- teacher look
at this whore, she what she's done
It was their hatred made me what
I am. Still he writes in the dirt, I read
my name.
They have stones in hand, to kill and
bury me, but slowly their jeering stills.
I am afraid like I have never been before
as he speaks, but one by one they drop
their stones.
Footsteps fade into the distance and
the dust kicked up makes my eyes
water. I still have not looked up, not
seen his face, but I know that he and I are
alone.
Where are they? He would know
better than I, yet he asks. Has no
one condemned you. They have condemned
me for years with their laughter at
my pain.
I know that's not what he's asking so
I find my voice and tell him no, waiting
for the judgment. Instead he offers
something new. Go then, and be whole
again.
Why is he writing in the dirt?
They brought me here, dragging me
through the dust and the filth of the
street, flinging me down, making me
know shame.
They are yelling at him- teacher look
at this whore, she what she's done
It was their hatred made me what
I am. Still he writes in the dirt, I read
my name.
They have stones in hand, to kill and
bury me, but slowly their jeering stills.
I am afraid like I have never been before
as he speaks, but one by one they drop
their stones.
Footsteps fade into the distance and
the dust kicked up makes my eyes
water. I still have not looked up, not
seen his face, but I know that he and I are
alone.
Where are they? He would know
better than I, yet he asks. Has no
one condemned you. They have condemned
me for years with their laughter at
my pain.
I know that's not what he's asking so
I find my voice and tell him no, waiting
for the judgment. Instead he offers
something new. Go then, and be whole
again.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Another Bend in the Road
On Saturday or Sunday I will once again pack up my belongings into my Intrepid and make the drive over the Satus Pass and into Yakima. I am really excited to be back in school in teaching mode and to see all my old students and meet my new ones. I'm feeling a little bit burnt out by school right now, and my motivation is lacking. Right now I have little to no interest in investing time in things which don't directly benefit my students. That being said, I know that all the things I'm currently working on will definitely make me a better teacher in the long run, but it's hard to keep that perspective in the midst of papers and assignments and deadlines. I'm also feeling a little frazzled as I realize that I will not be living with my old roommates ever again.
My new housemates have been much more difficult to live with than I had originally anticipated. There are some really strong personalities in the group, and I am not one of them. As a result, I'm rather unhappy with a lot of the situations I find myself in. I'm getting more assertive about things, but its hard not to compare with the people I lived with last year. I don't think I'll ever be friends with at least one of the people I live with.
On a more cheerful note, I am challenging myself to be more creative this week. I am going to write one poem each day for the next seven days and see how it works. Maybe if I have any decent efforts, I will post them here. My goal is to get back into the practice of writing every day, and start small. Then maybe I can expand things a bit and get back to writing some fiction. Another goal for mental stability is to get back into running. I've been taking things a little too easy since the half-marathon, and I'm getting excited to run for a cause again. I'm recruiting a bunch of people to run a 5 mile portion of the Portland Marathon with me in October. If anyone's interested, let me know.
I'm trying to be better about investing time in people out here. I miss having friends.
My new housemates have been much more difficult to live with than I had originally anticipated. There are some really strong personalities in the group, and I am not one of them. As a result, I'm rather unhappy with a lot of the situations I find myself in. I'm getting more assertive about things, but its hard not to compare with the people I lived with last year. I don't think I'll ever be friends with at least one of the people I live with.
On a more cheerful note, I am challenging myself to be more creative this week. I am going to write one poem each day for the next seven days and see how it works. Maybe if I have any decent efforts, I will post them here. My goal is to get back into the practice of writing every day, and start small. Then maybe I can expand things a bit and get back to writing some fiction. Another goal for mental stability is to get back into running. I've been taking things a little too easy since the half-marathon, and I'm getting excited to run for a cause again. I'm recruiting a bunch of people to run a 5 mile portion of the Portland Marathon with me in October. If anyone's interested, let me know.
I'm trying to be better about investing time in people out here. I miss having friends.
Monday, July 27, 2009
If we keep silent
Well, after a long silence, the writer returns. I realized the other day that I haven't written anything creative since March. That is a very long time. Too long.
But as I was thinking about this, I also realized that in the last year I have written over 50 pages of personal reflection on teaching and faith and community. That's no small feat, when you think about it. In the process, I've learned quite a bit about myself, and also changed a lot as a result. While it might seem self-centered, I think it's almost more important. Maybe all my non-creative writing in the last months is giving me a firm foundation for some work ahead of me. Maybe it's just supposed to give me that window into myself. I'm not really sure yet.
I had some pretty interesting experiences this week. On Friday night I went and watched Dirty Dancing with some friends at Pioneer Square. We brought a picnic and there was free popcorn, so all in all it was a fabulous night. Corey is planning a similar event at our apartments this weekend. Then on Saturday night we had a barbeque out on the bluff, overlooking the Willamette River. The sunset was killer, and the trains on the railway bridge looked like postcards. On Sunday I went to my first ever Latin mass. It was possibly one of the most beautiful and spiritual experiences I've had in a long time. I learned how to read chant notation and was also impressed with how much I could understand with my Spanish major and two years of Latin. It was very solemn and very holy, and while I don't think that I could go to that type of service every week, it was a real experience of God for me.
It's hard to believe that there are only two weeks left of summer classes. This summer has gone by so fast, probably because I've been so busy. I went home and saw Philly and D.C., came back to Portland, spent weekends in Olympia, Yakima, and Boston, wrote a larg portion of my research and submitted it to the IRB, and did lots and lots of schoolwork. I've also been getting used to my new community... let's just say that the honeymoon period is over. I'm having to work a lot harder this year than I did last year. I live with a lot of really strong personalities.
Still planning on camping in Glacier next month! I am PSYCHED.
But as I was thinking about this, I also realized that in the last year I have written over 50 pages of personal reflection on teaching and faith and community. That's no small feat, when you think about it. In the process, I've learned quite a bit about myself, and also changed a lot as a result. While it might seem self-centered, I think it's almost more important. Maybe all my non-creative writing in the last months is giving me a firm foundation for some work ahead of me. Maybe it's just supposed to give me that window into myself. I'm not really sure yet.
I had some pretty interesting experiences this week. On Friday night I went and watched Dirty Dancing with some friends at Pioneer Square. We brought a picnic and there was free popcorn, so all in all it was a fabulous night. Corey is planning a similar event at our apartments this weekend. Then on Saturday night we had a barbeque out on the bluff, overlooking the Willamette River. The sunset was killer, and the trains on the railway bridge looked like postcards. On Sunday I went to my first ever Latin mass. It was possibly one of the most beautiful and spiritual experiences I've had in a long time. I learned how to read chant notation and was also impressed with how much I could understand with my Spanish major and two years of Latin. It was very solemn and very holy, and while I don't think that I could go to that type of service every week, it was a real experience of God for me.
It's hard to believe that there are only two weeks left of summer classes. This summer has gone by so fast, probably because I've been so busy. I went home and saw Philly and D.C., came back to Portland, spent weekends in Olympia, Yakima, and Boston, wrote a larg portion of my research and submitted it to the IRB, and did lots and lots of schoolwork. I've also been getting used to my new community... let's just say that the honeymoon period is over. I'm having to work a lot harder this year than I did last year. I live with a lot of really strong personalities.
Still planning on camping in Glacier next month! I am PSYCHED.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Like an Indian summer in the middle of winter
Currently reading: Lots of research on effective spelling instruction, The Wednesday Wars, Animal Farm, Esther
So the first week back in school was a little bit overwhelming. Summer classes move so very quickly, and getting a master's degree while teaching keeps you very busy. This summer I'm taking research, and next year I'll be conducting research in my own classroom. Needless to say, this is a huge undertaking and also has far too many parts to worry about. So this summer I'm reviewing the literature and setting up my research methods, and then in the fall I'll conduct the research and write a massively large paper outlining my findings. I'm not too terrible excited about the prospect, but at the same time, it is excitingly grown-up and professional to be conducting a quantitative educational study. I'm going to be focusing on spelling and writing.
My reading class is utterly amazing, and I can already tell that I am going to be a much better teacher next year because of it. I've also been stockpiling resources for teaching religion, so while I am completely exhausted, I also feel like I am getting a lot done towards being a more effective teacher.
Thursday we went to Bluesfest on the waterfront and listened to some wonderful music and had a good time dancing to some not-as-wonderful music. Then this weekend I went up to Olympia to celebrate the fourth with some friends. It was a nice relaxing two days when I didn't bring any work with me. I just sat back and enjoyed the time away from school. My friend Luke has a house out on a lake, and we took a rowboat out into the middle of the lake and watched all the neighbors setting off fireworks. It was really a lot of fun.
And then today it was back into the grind of schoolwork. I'm still waiting on a paycheck, so funds are tight and my friend Erin had to lend me money to print out an article I needed. I felt like a loser when that happened. Once my life calms down a little bit I'll do my best to be in better touch with people...I'm a little overwhelmed right now.
So the first week back in school was a little bit overwhelming. Summer classes move so very quickly, and getting a master's degree while teaching keeps you very busy. This summer I'm taking research, and next year I'll be conducting research in my own classroom. Needless to say, this is a huge undertaking and also has far too many parts to worry about. So this summer I'm reviewing the literature and setting up my research methods, and then in the fall I'll conduct the research and write a massively large paper outlining my findings. I'm not too terrible excited about the prospect, but at the same time, it is excitingly grown-up and professional to be conducting a quantitative educational study. I'm going to be focusing on spelling and writing.
My reading class is utterly amazing, and I can already tell that I am going to be a much better teacher next year because of it. I've also been stockpiling resources for teaching religion, so while I am completely exhausted, I also feel like I am getting a lot done towards being a more effective teacher.
Thursday we went to Bluesfest on the waterfront and listened to some wonderful music and had a good time dancing to some not-as-wonderful music. Then this weekend I went up to Olympia to celebrate the fourth with some friends. It was a nice relaxing two days when I didn't bring any work with me. I just sat back and enjoyed the time away from school. My friend Luke has a house out on a lake, and we took a rowboat out into the middle of the lake and watched all the neighbors setting off fireworks. It was really a lot of fun.
And then today it was back into the grind of schoolwork. I'm still waiting on a paycheck, so funds are tight and my friend Erin had to lend me money to print out an article I needed. I felt like a loser when that happened. Once my life calms down a little bit I'll do my best to be in better touch with people...I'm a little overwhelmed right now.
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