If we keep silent

Well, after a long silence, the writer returns. I realized the other day that I haven't written anything creative since March. That is a very long time. Too long.

But as I was thinking about this, I also realized that in the last year I have written over 50 pages of personal reflection on teaching and faith and community. That's no small feat, when you think about it. In the process, I've learned quite a bit about myself, and also changed a lot as a result. While it might seem self-centered, I think it's almost more important. Maybe all my non-creative writing in the last months is giving me a firm foundation for some work ahead of me. Maybe it's just supposed to give me that window into myself. I'm not really sure yet.

I had some pretty interesting experiences this week. On Friday night I went and watched Dirty Dancing with some friends at Pioneer Square. We brought a picnic and there was free popcorn, so all in all it was a fabulous night. Corey is planning a similar event at our apartments this weekend. Then on Saturday night we had a barbeque out on the bluff, overlooking the Willamette River. The sunset was killer, and the trains on the railway bridge looked like postcards. On Sunday I went to my first ever Latin mass. It was possibly one of the most beautiful and spiritual experiences I've had in a long time. I learned how to read chant notation and was also impressed with how much I could understand with my Spanish major and two years of Latin. It was very solemn and very holy, and while I don't think that I could go to that type of service every week, it was a real experience of God for me.

It's hard to believe that there are only two weeks left of summer classes. This summer has gone by so fast, probably because I've been so busy. I went home and saw Philly and D.C., came back to Portland, spent weekends in Olympia, Yakima, and Boston, wrote a larg portion of my research and submitted it to the IRB, and did lots and lots of schoolwork. I've also been getting used to my new community... let's just say that the honeymoon period is over. I'm having to work a lot harder this year than I did last year. I live with a lot of really strong personalities.

Still planning on camping in Glacier next month! I am PSYCHED.

Like an Indian summer in the middle of winter

Currently reading: Lots of research on effective spelling instruction, The Wednesday Wars, Animal Farm, Esther

So the first week back in school was a little bit overwhelming. Summer classes move so very quickly, and getting a master's degree while teaching keeps you very busy. This summer I'm taking research, and next year I'll be conducting research in my own classroom. Needless to say, this is a huge undertaking and also has far too many parts to worry about. So this summer I'm reviewing the literature and setting up my research methods, and then in the fall I'll conduct the research and write a massively large paper outlining my findings. I'm not too terrible excited about the prospect, but at the same time, it is excitingly grown-up and professional to be conducting a quantitative educational study. I'm going to be focusing on spelling and writing.

My reading class is utterly amazing, and I can already tell that I am going to be a much better teacher next year because of it. I've also been stockpiling resources for teaching religion, so while I am completely exhausted, I also feel like I am getting a lot done towards being a more effective teacher.

Thursday we went to Bluesfest on the waterfront and listened to some wonderful music and had a good time dancing to some not-as-wonderful music. Then this weekend I went up to Olympia to celebrate the fourth with some friends. It was a nice relaxing two days when I didn't bring any work with me. I just sat back and enjoyed the time away from school. My friend Luke has a house out on a lake, and we took a rowboat out into the middle of the lake and watched all the neighbors setting off fireworks. It was really a lot of fun.

And then today it was back into the grind of schoolwork. I'm still waiting on a paycheck, so funds are tight and my friend Erin had to lend me money to print out an article I needed. I felt like a loser when that happened. Once my life calms down a little bit I'll do my best to be in better touch with people...I'm a little overwhelmed right now.

Of Time and Of Seasons

Not only is the title of this post the title of one of my favorite books, it is also something that has been weighing rather heavily on my mind in recent days. I'm working on a Bible study via email and a book with Sara, and it focuses on the story of Esther. The timing in that story is crazy, and it led me to think about time in my own life. If you had told me a year and a half ago that I would move across the country, be happily single, live with strangers, teach seventh grade, run a half marathon or so many other things that are going on in my life, I would have laughed at you. But here I am, and at this time, that is my story. It's also been jarring to see how places where the timing in my life matched up with my friends have changed. My time and others' had ceased to line up so well, and I find myself becoming closer with people who are at a similar time in their life. I also have been thinking of the idea of an "acceptable time" and realizing that God and I seem to have very different ideas about what this acceptable time is. I am, however, beginning to be ok with going with the flow and following God's lead on these types of things.

In other news, I successfully completed a half-marathon on Saturday, and right within my goal time of 2 and a half hours. I feel an enormous sense of accomplishment about this. Last year at this time I couldn't even run one mile without feeling winded, and this year I ran 13.1 miles, all while raising money and awareness of a cause I feel very strongly about. Life is very good.

My new roommates are utterly amazing, and I am looking forward to this summer. It's going to be amazing.

Home Sweet Home

It's been an interesting thing, being home for the first time in a while. My roommate Kristin came with me to NJ, and we did all sorts of fun things, but it has been a lot of driving and not a lot of seeing people. We visited Philly and DC and went down the shore, so I think it is safe to say that she had a very full New Jersey experience. There was a lot of eating, particularly fattening and bad for you treats like taylor ham and Dunkin' Donuts. Those of you who know me well will not be surprised at all to find out that there was also a significant amount of Wawa involved in the trip. I think I may have an unparallelled passion for Wawa.

Another thing that I find intriguing about the only being home for a week at a time every six months is the way that some things change and others seem the same. Some of the friends I've seen it's been like I never left. Conversation is natural, and we really enjoy catching up and reminiscing. Last night I hung out with some of the girls I went to high school with, and we had a complete blast. I haven't talked to these girls in years, and yet we were laughing and carrying on like it didn't matter. The whole night was just a lot of fun.

I'm having a little trouble with some of the changes in my absence, and realizing how hard it is to be mature when you don't agree with people who you thought you knew really well. I know this is something I have to work on; people are certainly going to grow and change while I'm growing and changing across the country, but I guess I just wasn't prepared for how big some of those changes would be. I didn't think this would ever happen, but I'm really excited to go back to the West Coast. I know my friends there really well, and they know the me I've become out there. I have a place there. I'm excited for summer classes and for the next year at school. I'm thrilled to live with new roommates and to stay in touch with the old ones. I guess this is a good thing. It only took a year, but I've definitely enjoyed the adjustment.

I'm a Survivor

Well, I officially made it through my first entire year as a seventh grade teacher. And I'm mostly in one piece, I promise. To be honest, the horror stories I heard about the first year of teaching made this year seem not so bad. Yes, I did have some thoroughly obnoxious and malicious students who completely lost it towards the end of the year, but in general my first class was an amazingly kind and talented group of kids. I am excited for them to be the big kids in school next year because I am positive that they will be an amazing set of leaders and examples.

So much is going on right now that it's hard to know what to write. On Tuesday I will drive out of Yakima with all my stuff packed and never live in my current house again. Moving a kitchen is no fun at all. We are leaving all of our stuff in the garage and families from the school will come and help us move while we are studying in Portland this summer. Then we'll come up to visit sometime in July and move all our furniture into the new house. I'm really glad for the new house, because I feel like it gives us all a fresh start. I'll have three brand new amazing roommates and a wonderful new house and a new class of students next year.

All that being said, it is a long, stressful weekend, and tomorrow promises to be another long stressful day as we finish packing up the house and our classrooms. And then, early early on Wednesday morning, I will be on the East Coast!!!!!!!

And, I got my racing singlet for the half marathon at the end of the month. I am really excited for this thing, but also a little nervous. If can support me, please try. Thanks!
http://www.active.com/donate/nfseattle2009/EAppert

Some highlights of the year

Here are some of the more quotable moments of the last year:

Andrew (to me): Which way do you run?
Josh: Forward mostly.

Me: We're making cards for Fr. Pope.
Kids: Why?
Me: He lost his brother.
Josh: Did they find him yet?

Me: Christian, how's the math coming?
Christian: Good. I'm on number....
Me: Yes?
Christian: (long pause, looks at hands) I was trying to make a 12, but then I realized I only have 10 fingers.

Drew: This room isn't big enough for my talent.

I was walking around my religion class, looking at the art projects, when I asked before thinking, "Why is everyone making babies?"

I'm sure there are more...

It's Been A While Part II

Currently Reading: Funerals are Fatal, Theology of the Body for Beginners

This has been a rough rough week, with a few shining moments. Yesterday I was hit in the face twice with projectiles that I had outlawed in my classroom. The second one hit my nose hard enough that I was tearing up and had a difficult time speaking for a bit. Needless to say, I was more than a tiny bit peeved about the situation. Then, two of my more obnoxious students told me they thought what I taught was stupid and useless, and that they saw no need for me at the school. At this point I gave up. We are strictly doing language in their class right now, because that's what they claim they want to learn, none of the fun enrichment stuff I had planned for the rest of the year. It's discouraging to spend the time thinking up fun interesting things to do and then have kids be full of attitude about it.

So today two of my sweet students came in with little ways of saying that they still care. One brought me a card where she told me that I was a wonderful teacher and gave me a coffee giftcard. A boy from the other homeroom brought me muffins. As I was feeling that there still was some merit in teaching seventh grade, I returned from the school mass to discover that some students had left garbage all over my chair. I'm feeling very defeated.